The Center of My Life Has an 80s Carpet

Is it okay or not okay to care about that?

First night of our road trip through Shikoku. The website said brand-new renovated rooms.

I opened the door and the 80s looked back at me.

Old carpet, the kind you don’t really want to touch with bare feet. WähThe sound you make when something is gross. Old hotel carpet, for example.. Walls with marks and patches all over. A bathroom like an airplane cabin. And 2 twin beds instead of the promised queen.

I felt betrayed. Fucking mega annoyed.

Then the rational voice kicked in. It’s 1 night. Sleep, shower, leave. Realistically it’s not that bad. You’re overreacting.

I understand that voice. It kinda makes sense… I’d love to be someone who sleeps anywhere not being annoyed by anything. And from the outside, I am. In all the years of moving around I’ve never rebooked a single place.

Noela didn’t care at all. We made some jokes about it, squeezed into a single 90 cm bed to watch a movie, and then split up for sleeping.

I lay down in my twin bed, still annoyed.

I know that rationalizing voice well by now. The last time was in Taiwan, like a month earlier. For a whole week though. It didn’t work.

We had a wooden cabin with a huge window and an old tree in it. It cost more than I wanted to spend, so I booked the next place cheaper to push the average back down. I’m a sucker for the biggest bang for the buck after all.

Small room. Older bathroom. AC that never quite managed. Hot.

Rationally it was fine. Good for the money, even. I picked it myself, for exactly that. Would I book it again? No.

We stayed a week, so I lived there. The grinder and the AeroPress came out of the bag, the yoga mat went down. I worked sitting in bed most of the time. We did our workouts in the room. Something about it just felt off. I’ve been in smaller rooms that felt fine. I’m writing this from one right now. The Taiwan room had a vibe I couldn’t shake, and I still can’t say what it was.

But it bled into everything else. We had incredible food in that city, nice walks, a good time. I couldn’t really enjoy any of it. I felt kinda trapped. I carried the room into the whole city. I stayed the whole week anyway. Didn’t rebook, of course.

The food that week was incredible.

I had my own stuff going on that week, which made it worse. Still, I remember viscerally that the place had a giant impact on me. Knowing though it probably shouldn’t.

Back in Shikoku, the voice had a point. It was 1 night. I knew that.

But I was still lying there, annoyed at a carpet, thinking about messaging the hotel to complain. I never did. From the outside, nothing happened.

Why even bother with those thoughts?

I don’t have a home. I’m in these rooms so much, I work from them. Whatever room I’m in is my Lebensmittelpunktlit. life-center-pointThe place where your life actually happens. For most people a home, for me whatever room I'm in..

So I let it matter. I let myself be annoyed by a carpet. I don’t need to be the one who doesn’t care.

I slept ok.